Ivory Soup
Posted on Thursday, July 30th, 2009 at 8:38 amPainted Lady - Comments?
Painted Lady:
Soft silk curtains
Of bright pink
Gently swaying
As the wind
Dictates
And hiding
The less than
Real ivory
While slender spider
Legs will
Tap out
An impatient
Tune
As the beastly
Slug emerges
From it’s cage
To coil
Around a poor
Victim,
An expensive
One at that.
Spherical spheres
Encased in sockets
Further encased
By heavy paint
Move to one
Side as
That shrinking
Creature
Contemplates
It’s next
Decision,
Oozing it’s
Juices, marinating
In a sickly,
Plastic
Soup.
The idea is that it's so over swaddled in metaphor that it becomes slightly confusing...
Decades, you're new here, aren't you? Well, on behalf of everyone else, welcome to Yahoo Answers!
The one and two word lines aren't adding anything to this, think about the subject and how to add some music and imagery. You can Google "line breaks in poetry" and get some good primers.
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