Basket Indigo
Posted on Saturday, April 17th, 2010 at 4:01 amOpinions on my writing?
"Let's pick apples from the apple tree?" Ivory said staring into his blue crystallized eyes that sparkle in a gleam.
"Yes, but how many?" He said taking a piece bread to his mouth. They laid on a field of grass over an indigo blanket, and gazing upon the restless clouds above. Ivory seized her ribbon of the grass, and tied it around her hair in a knot.
"Only a few," she said. "we'll get more tomorrow." The nice wind ran through her luscious maroon hair, she wore a long white dress and was bare footed.
Ivory folded the blanket and held it firmly between her arms with the basket, and then dawdled towards the big apple tree they spotted.
"Hurry up, James," she said placing the basket and blanket at the bank of the tree. James hurdled up the steep hill, wearing a jumper and a straw hat.
"Okay, I'm here," he drew in a quick breath, and wiped the beads of sweat of his face with an old rag.
Tell me your opinions, and if you could re-write it better, please post.
It's very descriptive the way you wrote it. Excellent job. I did not see anything that you needed to change. Good luck!
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